Feeding nostalgia: Mark, Chan families served food and fellowship

I can’t say that my parents were foodies, but they were good at producing food that their customers loved.

But more than anything, they created memories.

Mark’s Cafe was a downtown institution in Elkhart, IN. Family traditions were born there. Milestones were celebrated, and the passage of time was marked as customers brought their kids year after year.

My parents were in the restaurant business from the 1950s to the late ’70s, when my dad retired and sold Mark’s Cafe to another family. It continued under the same name for another decade, long enough for me to graduate from college.

Back in the day, every Michiana family who had a Chinese restaurant knew one another. We kids? We called each other “cousin” even if we weren’t actually related because, if nothing else, we shared a bond over busing tables, taking carryout orders over the phone and prepping vegetables.

For the kids of my generation, the family business was a means to an end—a good education and stability as we established ourselves. None of us work in food service today. Maybe our parents would have been proud if we had carried on the family business, but I have a feeling they would have been disappointed.

More times than I can count, strangers and acquaintances have shared their own cherished moments of Mark’s Cafe—dinners out on Friday night, the birthdays and anniversaries they celebrated, the fortune cookie that accompanied every dish of ice cream that was complimentary with every meal.

Oh, and there was a cute little boy who was always playing with Matchbox cars at the front.

“Was that you?” they ask.

Yes. Yes, it was.

I love hearing those memories. Those memories mean that the long hours my parents worked, the weekends we spent at the restaurant, were worth something so much bigger than us.

My cousin Annie Mark spent hours in the kitchen at Happy House Restaurant. She never got to cook the restaurant menu though; that was a job for her dad and uncle. But she remembers getting a kick out of her dad reading an order ticket and exclaiming, “Oh, so-and-so is here tonight!”

You took care of your regulars, including inviting them to family gatherings.

Thanksgiving was one of the few holidays we ever got to ourselves. “Who eats Chinese on Thanksgiving?” asks Annie’s older sister, Lily Maasdam.

But there we were every year for an all-day Thanksgiving extravaganza at Happy House. Around Christmas, Canton House, my uncle Kwong Chan’s place, would host a holiday gathering. We loved it because we got to hang out in the bar, which we never got to do otherwise. The TV was there, too, so there’s that.

When you own a restaurant and you host a party there, it’s got to be big.

The holiday gatherings tended to be epic. The food table was filled with turkey and dressing, sharing space with dishes such as roast duck, roast chicken and steamed white rice. There were shrimp chips (don’t knock ’em till you’ve tried ’em), a spiced ham salad cheese ball and fried wontons (which I would have eaten by the ton, except there were adults watching).

Because this was family, our regular customers were invited. Some passers-by, seeing the parking lot full of cars, would stop in to see if we were open. Sadly, we had to turn them away.

My cousins and I all have our special food memories, and sometimes they involve stuff that wasn’t on any menu.

Did you know that the gravy for egg foo young, a hamburger patty and white rice make a great combination? Annie put that gravy on french fries, too, along with a little Tabasco.

Annie also remembers that Sundays, when whole chickens were prepped for the week, were her favorite day. Why? The restaurant didn’t use the wings, so those were fried up with soy sauce for a special behind-the-scenes treat.

Mimi Jung, the eldest sister to Lily and Annie, loves many of the restaurant menu dishes, but she sees that cuisine as Chinese-American and distinct from the authentic Cantonese cuisine that her mother cooked at home.

The pull of family, nostalgia and food is strong. Mimi, Lily and Annie all cook frequently, keeping the dishes they loved alive and keeping those memories alive, too.

“Meals were very important to our family,” Lily wrote to me recently. “Not sure if it is a cultural thing, or if it stems from food being scarce for previous generations. So, I love food. Cooking, eating, hosting. All of it.”

Another cousin from the same Happy House family, Peter Yuen, to this day reflexively stacks up the plates when he eats out, just to make it easier on the staff.

And we all know what it means to show up at a restaurant a half hour before closing, so we don’t do it.

I’m glad my cousins are keeping some of these dishes alive. For us, food is family, and family is about love and taking care of each other.